He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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