Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
