doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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