Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
