apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize