What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
