Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
