She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
