Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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