Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
