she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
