I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
