Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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