We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
