So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
