i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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