Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
