capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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