so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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