She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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