that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
