my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
