Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
