Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
