It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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