found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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