new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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