Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
