Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
