So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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