i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I party with great urgency now.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
