Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
