It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
