so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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