he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize