you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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