goodnight i made you a song goodbye
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize