i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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