And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
