i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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