when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
