Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
