is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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