Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize