well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
