Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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