No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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