i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Randomize
