A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
