so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
