...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We named our party play list daddy issues
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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