btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
