Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
