Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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