Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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