well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
