My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
