The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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