i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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