I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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