This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
