I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize