Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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