Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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