I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize