we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
